I regret giving my virginity to Spencer. Now that I think about it, it was a mistake. A mistake I can't take back. And we ended our relationship the other day.... If you can even call it a relationship. Ashli was right. I was in love with the attention I was finally getting from him. Not him. And I feel stupid for believing that I was.
He is one of the most immature 18 year olds that I have ever met. He acts like a 10 year old boy sometimes and honestly, it always kind of annoyed me. Not that I would ever admit that when I was with him. I denied it cause then I couldn't agree with my friends and answer their questions as to why I was still with him. I was with him because I liked him for so long.. And kinda still do. Although, not as much.
It finally hit me that he never really cared for me when he started telling me how much he wanted his ex, Jenna. That hurt quite a bit. But I was extremely happy when he brought up the fact that he felt like we weren't even dating. Cause I had been feeling like that since day one. I just didn't want to admit it cause I felt like if I admitted it, it would be more true.
Anyways; I'm glad I'm done with him. We're still friends but I don't really want to talk to him. Not after what happened. I think it'll be awkward.
I'm kinda done with the whole 'dating' thing. Too much drama, pain, and bullshit come from it and I'm done with dealing with that. There's a reason I avoid dating, though it may seem like I don't avoid it.
Okay, I have a pretty big Henna tattoo drying on my left hand so I'm gonna go before it gets too fucked up.
Peace
-A
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