The title has nothing to do with the post, at least I don't think so.
Anyways my mom's mom has left. Finally. I was asked why I hate my grandmother so much. Here's my reason; My older brother is her favorite. He always has been. She has 8 grandchildren and out of the 8 I'm the only one who isn't a favorite because she can't get sympathy from me. What I mean is this. I have to cousins. One is blind and the other is mentally handicapped. They're sisters. Whenever she talks about them to her friends, they give her sympathy about how hard it must be to have two challenging grandkids. The others are like that too except for Christian and Asia. They're her favorites because their parents are rich and live in this huge home. Nathan's her favorite because he had a southern rebellion a while ago and it still gets sympathy, I assume. Alley and Joe are her favorites because there is something psychologically wrong with the both of them. I was her favorite for about a year when I was in the 3rd grade because I was in the hospital but when I got out and got better, it was like I never existed.
She always visits on Nathan's birthdays. She always pays more attention to him. She always gets him the better things and I always get the hand-me-downs. She won't even visit me on my birthday and I'm lucky if I even get a call or card from her. This used to bother me, ya know? Like, why doesn't Grandma love me too? But now, I just don't care. And when she visited she wanted to do all this stuff with me and I was never around. So my mom bitched at me until I would go do something with them and I only did something with them 4 times out of the 10 days she was here. She complained about never seeing me and wanting to spend time with me and in my head I'm thinking, "You had 15 fucking years to spend time with me and you're choosing to complain now that I never spend time with you? Sorry old lady but you lost your chance."
I know people have bigger problems in life than this, I just needed to let my frustration out.
I am not going to be her puppet. I'm not going to bend over backwards to make her happy. I don't care how much stress my mom gets put through because of it. This lady had her chance to spend time with me and she chose not to do so. She can suck it up and fucking deal with it. It used to hurt knowing that I wasn't he favorite. Now I'm glad that I'm not. Cause I don't have to worry about disappointing her like the other kids do. And I don't think of her as my grandmother. In fact I never call her that unless my mom is around. And I know the way I dress and the music I listen to bothers her so I turned up the volume on both just to irritate her. I fucking hate her. With a passion.
On a lighter note: My Chemical Romance is in 2 days (:
... Or 1, I should say. Seeing as it's 1 in the morning.
Well.. Night.
Peace
-A
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