This amazing thing that's happened? Yeah, well, it's amazing but it sucks. Cause "open relationships" are fucking stupid. Add my level of insecurities and paranoia and I am a mess. I am a mess. Like, I want to cry but crying is weakness in my eyes so I'm holding them back.
.... I lost my virginity. To this person that is amazing. And ever since then, my stomach has been all over the place... But they used a condom... I am so confused right now.
I don't want anyone to ask me about this. Please don't. Ashli, Jess & Lauren, you guys know I don't like sympathy and what I say on here is to be ignored unless I bring it up.
So please don't talk to me about it.
I really wanna crawl in a hole right now and just die. My depression is coming back but it's sorta getting pushed back by this happiness I have right now. My stomach really hurts :(
Nothing sits right in it, ya know? Everything seems to upset it. Even crackers. And the pain comes and goes. Right now, I feel like I'm about to get violently sick.
..... My stomach really fucking hurts :'(
I have never been this uncomfortable before. Physically, I mean.
Please. Whoever is listening, make it stop. I'm not being dramatic, I'm being honest.
Make it stop.
I'm going to bed.
Peace
-A
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