Monday, July 18, 2011

Fuck this shit.

This amazing thing that's happened? Yeah, well, it's amazing but it sucks. Cause "open relationships" are fucking stupid. Add my level of insecurities and paranoia and I am a mess. I am a mess. Like, I want to cry but crying is weakness in my eyes so I'm holding them back.
.... I lost my virginity. To this person that is amazing. And ever since then, my stomach has been all over the place... But they used a condom... I am so confused right now.
I don't want anyone to ask me about this. Please don't. Ashli, Jess & Lauren, you guys know I don't like sympathy and what I say on here is to be ignored unless I bring it up.
So please don't talk to me about it.

I really wanna crawl in a hole right now and just die. My depression is coming back but it's sorta getting pushed back by this happiness I have right now. My stomach really hurts :(
Nothing sits right in it, ya know? Everything seems to upset it. Even crackers. And the pain comes and goes. Right now, I feel like I'm about to get violently sick.



..... My stomach really fucking hurts :'(
I have never been this uncomfortable before. Physically, I mean.


Please. Whoever is listening, make it stop. I'm not being dramatic, I'm being honest.
Make it stop. 


I'm going to bed.


Peace
-A

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