Seriously?

This guy I'm with just said something that pisses me off. He wants something but yet he doesn't want an exclusive relationship?! I mean, really! Just say you want an exclusive relationship and I'll be the first in line! And the thing he wants, comes with having an 'exclusive' relationship! You stupid fucker!
... But of course I don't mean the 'stupid fucker' part...
God, some of the things he says just makes me want to grab him by the shoulders and shake him!

And another thing!... It's really stupid but it's true. I was rereading the Facebook messages we sent back and forth last night for like, the millionth time, and I started crying my eyes out. Not the loud snot coming out of your nose crying but the silent crying. You know, the crying that comes with a broken heart? He hasn't broken my heart but with this stupid 'open relationship', it certainly feels like he's ripping it out piece by piece. And what's stupid is that I'm just standing there and letting him. I'm not walking away. I should walk away but I have waited TOO FUCKING LONG FOR THIS! I have wanted this boy since the moment I fucking met him. So, I'm just dealing with it in my own way.

Here's another problem. I've recently figured out that the stomach pains I've been having lately can be a lot less painful if I don't eat. So I'm not eating as much as I used too. And I've also noticed how repulsive food looks and smells. I was eating pizza earlier and I was gagging while chewing. I wanted to hurl but I knew that I had to eat so I forced myself to eat one slice and half of another but I couldn't eat anymore. I was, quiet literally, about to vomit. Food. Is. Gross.
End of story.



Peace
-A